yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
FUCK WHALES
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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