Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't deserve a penis
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize