is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Im part way to drunk.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
