no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
