I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
