I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
