i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
