this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
