The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
