do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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