Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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