I wannas sexs uuuuu
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
