Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the day after is always just damage control
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
