im six kinds of drunk right now
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
