Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
