Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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