You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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