wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
