we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
