I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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