I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize