why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
