He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize