I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
