Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
