She's the barista slut.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
