I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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