i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I think im going to throw up on grandma
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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