okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We have started to decorate penises.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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