I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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