i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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