I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
