Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize