Betty ford says i'm here all night
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
