Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
