You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
