my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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