you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
