it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
