Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You made out with two different species that night
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
