whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
