every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Randomize
