Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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