I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
