Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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