I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
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