Please, let me fuck your mom
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Randomize
