We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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