You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
