either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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