But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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