you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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