Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
