i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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