And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize