...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
