True but thats because hes a fetus.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
40s are totally the cure
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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