I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
