real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize