Walk of Shame. In a state park.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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