It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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