this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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