Taylor Swift is so right about you.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
