I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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