yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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