Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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