you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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