69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
