and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize