She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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